So, we have this friend, Fellow Blogger. She's among the smartest people we know. Both book smart and current event smart and generally just smart at life. So once a week or so, she'll send us a ridiculous headline from CNN.com. A common example is something like "54% of Americans think we may be headed toward a recession." Or "George Bush doesn't think we are headed for a recession." Everytime they are Very Serious headlines from a Very Serious news source. And everytime they are completely and utterly useless.
We never check CNN.com unless we get these articles, but we always sort of figured Fellow Blogger was just cherry picking the worst articles.Umm , we now seriously doubt this. For this morning, we casually checked out CNN.com. And this is what greeted us (click for larger image):
Yikes. Where do we even start with this? First of all, the fact that there are Black people in America? Is this really a Live! Developing! Story! And not just that but do we really need Your! Reaction! to the fact that there are Black people in America? I mean, is this Turn Back The Clock To The 1800s Day on the Internet? Moving on to Latest! News! check out those stories.
Is marriage only for white people!
Black people not playing football!
Mississippi closed for the day!
Kids playing with sawdust and paper!
Helping whales help themselves!
Video sluts pissed off that people think they're slutty!
Kid Rock! At the Waffle House!
All this, plus super heroes and Salman Rushdie!
Huh?
Huh?
Huh?
Huh?
Huh?
Huh?
Huh?
Okay, my head just split in two; no more, please!
I guess this should not be too surprising. CNN, the television station, is pretty absurd. There's Lou Dobbs, a border-line xenophobe. Larry King, a border-line robot. Anderson Cooper, who used to be the host of reality game show The Mole, and who often produces Hard! Hitting! Journalism! a representative example of which is how the fact that prostitution is legal in parts of Mexico is evidence of international sex-trafficking. And, lest we forget, there's Wolf Blitzer. Who can forget Wolf Blitzer, just last week, on the Situation! Room! running around, mouth agape, eyes bulging out of head, convinced that No American could possibly understand that the New Yorker is a liberal magazine known for producing satirical cartoons (the same Americans who, before this morning, were unaware of the existance of Black Americans).
So here's what we're thinking about this morning: As newspapers continue with massive lay-offs and the unending tide continues toward the internet and 24-hour cable television for news, should we be concerned that CNN.com, presumably one of the most trafficed web properties, offers up almost nothing but steaming piles of horse shit?
We, unlike Wolf Blitzer, believe that the vast and overwhelming majority of reasonable Americans understand that the New Yorker is liberal and the cover was satire. To that end, we are hopeful that the vast and overwhelming majority of reasonable Americans understand that CNN is completely full of shit and offers, perhaps, 5% news and 95% foaming at the mouth nonsense.
Two questions we have this morning. Is this a reasonable hope? And, even if it is a reasonable hope, what pressures, if any, does the success of CNN.com (and CNN) put on sources who actually are trying to enlighten, educate, edify our society?
