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Thursday, May 28, 2009
May 28, 2009 - On Not Jumping the Gun
It’s a situation that’s parallel to my NHL, because of the similar, watch-and-wait treatment protocol.
Man gets PSA test. Test detects a small, almost insignificant presence of cancer. Knowing most prostate cancers are slow-growing, doctor recommends watchful waiting. Patient, who’s just heard the word “cancer” for the first time in a medical diagnosis, flips out, imploring the doctor get rid of the cancer, whatever it takes. Under pressure, doctor initiates treatment – despite the possibility of debilitating side effects and the knowledge that the treatment is likely to be no more effective now than later.
It’s all because of the patient’s panicky reaction to the word, “cancer.”
I know. It’s only human to respond that way. I did, myself, when I was first diagnosed. We’ve been taught to think of cancer as a killer, that must be excised from the body instantly, no matter how difficult that process may be.
You can see this in the way some people use the word “cancer” as metaphor. If someone speaks of “a cancer on the organization,” or something similar, it means the offending member must be drummed out of the corps, post-haste. That’s what we do with cancers, right?
Sometimes, but not always. Not when it’s a slow-growing cancer – like most prostate cancers, or my indolent NHL.
I’m away at a church conference this week, the national meeting of the Presbyterian Association of Stated Clerks. Today, at the breakfast table in the conference center dining hall, a colleague I haven’t seen in a while asks me how I’m doing. I explain the watch-and-wait thing, and she at first assumes I’m in remission. No, I’m not in remission, I correct her. It’s been 3 years since my treatment, but my remission only lasted about 8 months. The cancer’s been back ever since then, but we’ve yet to treat it, because it’s still too small to treat.
She gives me a quizzical look that reveals she clearly doesn’t get it.
I explain to her that my cancer is one that doesn’t – in fact, shouldn’t – be treated immediately (and that this is a tough idea for any of us to wrap our minds around). Doing so will just deplete the number of implements in the doctors’ treatment toolbox, tools that may be needed later when the cancer does get big enough to treat.
After my lengthy explanation, my friend does get it – but, I rather suspect she goes away thinking I’ve got some superhuman reserves of psychological endurance, being able to get up and walk around each day, as I do, with the knowledge there’s untreated cancer inside me.
It’s not that big a deal, though. It really isn’t. Once you get used to the idea that you’ve got an indolent cancer, and understand what that sort of cancer really is, you can function rather well. Sure, there’s a constant, low-level sense of unease about the future, but it is low-level.
You have cancer. You live with it. Somehow, with a little help from your friends, and your God, you get by.
As long as you don’t jump the gun.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Faculty Announced for WDI World Schools Workshop
There is still room at the workshop. July 25-August 7 2009. Held at the University of Vermont in Burlington, Vermont, USA.
Contact Janet Nunziata to register -- janet.nunziata@uvm.edu
Bojana Skrt, ZIP Slovenia, Director
As director of the national debate program of Slovenia, Bojana has become one of the most respected debate trainers in the world. She has directed countless teacher and student workshops, and her team has been EFL World Champions at the World Schools Debating Championship three times.
Debbie Newman, UK
Debbie has been debating champion of England and Wales and president of the legendary Cambridge University Union in the UK. She has taught at WDI a number of times. She coached England to the World Schools Debating Championship in Washington in 2008 and to second place at WSDC Athens in 2009.
Rhydian Morgan, UK
Rhydian is a professional communications trainer who has an endless love for debating. He has won numerous tournaments and has also been chief adjudicator at countless tournaments in Europe. He is a returning WDI faculty member, has taught at the Department of State Study of US Institutions program for students from India, Pakistan and Bangladesh in 2008 and is a regular faculty member at the International Debate Academy Slovenia.
Alfred Snider, USA
Has been WDI director, since 1984 director of the Lawrence Debate Union since 1982 and is the Edwin Lawrence Professor of Forensics at the University of Vermont. Has trained debaters in over 28 countries, published over 50 books about debating and for debaters and has won every major award given to debate coaches in the USA. As a student debating for Brown University he finished third at the USA National Debate Tournament and second at the Tournament of Champions.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
WDI Reorganization Points to Global Expansion
The world is full of changes, and this is also true for the World Debate Institute. One thing that has not changed is that WDI remains as one of the leading global sources of sophisticated debate instruction.
The World Debate Institute announces a number of changes in the program.
Due to escalating costs and the economic downturn many of the summer programs hosted at the University of Vermont will not take place this year.
However, in Vermont the World Schools Debating Workshop will continue with strong attendance and a celebrated international faculty. July 25-August 7 2009. http://debate.uvm.edu/wdi/
During July WDI will be assisting in the planning and implementation of a high school debate workshop at Piedmont College in Georgia.
There will be some additional smaller debate workshops held in Vermont for university students in August that involve WDI faculty but are not official WDI programs. See http://debate.uvm.edu/edi.htm .
The World Debate Institute will continue to sponsor and hold training events around the world. In some ways it makes more sense to bring the program to the world than to try and bring the world to Vermont (although it is a wonderful place).
WDI will be working with ZIP Slovenia to sponsor the World Schools Debate Academy for high school students to be held in Slovenia 5 July-12 July 2009. http://debate.uvm.edu/wsda.html
WDI is working with the US State Department and the Faculty of Organizational Sciences at Belgrade University in Serbia to hold a university workshop in Serbia 15-22 July 2009. Contact Alfred.snider@uvm.edu for information.
WDI is working with ZIP Slovenia to present the Seventh Annual International Debate Academy Slovenia 21-29 November 2009 to be held in Ormoz, Slovenia. Information can be found at http://debate.uvm.edu/idas.html
WDI is beginning to make plans for a debating workshop to be held in Iraq in cooperation with ZIP Slovenia and local Iraqi partners.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Do you like a good forgery? Watch Abe Lincoln giving a talk.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Gasp! Calvin Coolidge trying to give a speech.
With the now-not-so-new modern miracle of You-Tube rare old videos pop up all the time. As a result, we get to see just how bad some of the pre-TV Presidents were at trying to talk.
Take a listen to Calvin Coolidge chatting away on the White House lawn in 1924.
href="Calvin'>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5puwTrLRhmw">Calvin Coolidge 1924.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Deep Sea Ocean Divers -- A Story
Monday, May 18, 2009
Thailand entrusts rare Buddha relics to Europe
The relics, which depict Siddhārtha Gautama, a spiritual teacher in the northern region of the Indian subcontinent who founded Buddhism and is generally seen by Buddhists as the Supreme Buddha (Sammāsambuddha) of our age, will be on display to the public in the Pagode in the Bois de Vincennes (Paris 12).
Their arrival in France is just the latest event in the long history of these precious artefacts. At the end of the nineteenth century, the collapse in India of a stupa that belonged to the clan of the Shakyas resulted in the discovery of authentic relics of the historical Buddha that had been preserved for more than two millennia.
Because India and most of Asia were colonized at the time, and Thailand was the only Buddhist country not to be so, G. N. Curzon, then Governor General of India and former Ambassador to the Kingdom of Siam, entrusted Thailand with the precious relics. They were displayed in the Golden Mount, one of the major temples in the capital city of Bangkok.
Over a century later and faced with constant political upheaval in Asia and the spread of Buddhism in the West, especially across Europe, the Thai Patriarchs decided to present the relics to the Western World, entrusting them to a European nation, their new land of asylum.
The Patriarchs selected France; the land that gave the world the Rights of Man and more specifically Paris, a city that according to them embodied the dynamic nature of European Buddhism.
France is one of the most prominent arenas of Buddhism in Europe and according to the country’s Minister for the Interior there are currently five million followers of the religion within its borders of which one million are active participants.
Speaking to the Figaro newspaper today, Olivier Reigen Wang-Genh, the president of the Buddhist Union of France who accepted these gifts, said “France is today the European country where Buddhists are most numerous, notably because of the waves of Asian immigration in the 1950s and the installation of the grand masters.
“This moment is historic,” he continued, “because it is the first time that authentic relics of Siddhārtha Gautama have been confided to a Western country.”
The Union have been entrusted with the responsibility to receive and keep the relics and to make plans to celebrate this historically significant event. Over the course of last weekend numerous celebrations and ceremonies took place in Vincennes that also featured exhibits of Buddhist art and objects from private collections and museums, including the excellent Guimet Museum of Asian Arts.
It is a very significant gesture and as one Buddhist commented to the Figaro “symbolically, it also proves that the teachings of Buddha is very much alive today and that it continues to spread from the Orient to the West.”
Another great new book on FDR's New Deal
Saturday, May 16, 2009
May 16, 2009 - Farrah's Story
Anyway, last night I did manage to take some time to view Farrah’s Story on NBC TV. For several years, Hollywood celebrity Farrah Fawcett has had anal cancer that’s now metastasized to her liver. Her prognosis is not good. For the past couple years, she’s brought a video camera along on most of her medical visits. Her intention, at first, was simply to keep a personal record of the complex medical information the doctors were feeding her, but eventually it occurred to her to make a documentary out of the footage.
This is the program that premiered on NBC last night. As the documentary airs, she’s no longer receiving chemotherapy, but is said to be receiving other anti-cancer drugs. It does seem, sadly, that her doctors have just about run out of options.
The film records Farrah saying, long before she reached this stage in her treatments: “So I say to God – because it is, after all, in his hands – ‘It is seriously time for a miracle.’”
It’s a gritty, realistic documentary. It pulls few punches in displaying the pain and exhaustion that so often go along with aggressive cancer treatments. So eager was Farrah to receive the most cutting-edge treatments that she left the care of her Los Angeles doctors for a time, and flew to Germany. There she had found a surgeon willing to undertake the tricky removal of her anal tumor, as well as another doctor who was willing to directly destroy her liver tumors, one by one, with a painful laser ablation treatment that involved sticking needles directly into her abdomen.
Farrah evidently wanted to show it all: a rather surprising move, for a movie star who’s spent her life carefully managing her public image. “There were things that I thought were too invasive to film,” Farrah’s friend and collaborator Alana Stewart explained, in an interview. “But Farrah said, ‘Film it. This is what cancer is.’”
The treatments seem to have bought her some time, little more. Hers is the story of a cancer survivor who's determined to do everything possible – even pushing the limits of the possible – to aggressively turn back her disease.
Because Farrah Fawcett is who she is – a world-famous celebrity, and a very wealthy woman – she has access to treatment options few other patients can consider. The film portrays her flying back and forth to Germany on a chartered jet, and staying, during the time of her treatments, in a picturesque alpine chalet that looks like it comes straight out of Heidi. Here’s a woman who’s lived her adult life at the pinnacle of privilege, but at the end of the day, she’s like any other cancer patient. Cancer is a great leveler, that way.
Towards the conclusion of the film, Farrah even loses her trademark mane of blonde hair. I found it a strange experience to watch some of her close friends describing what a horrible sacrifice this was for her, as though a coiffure were life itself – but then, I had to remind myself, these are Hollywood people. Their aging faces display the craft of the cosmetic surgeon. For them, physical beauty takes on disproportionate importance. It seems less so for Farrah herself, actually, than for those around her.
In the film, Farrah’s longtime companion Ryan O’Neal pays tribute to her inner beauty – and that’s the impression I’m left with, from this rather roughly-edited, but very realistic film. Farrah’s Story is the tale of a survivor. Whether or not she gets the medical miracle she tells God it’s “seriously time for,” there are miracles aplenty of strength, perseverance, community and love.
Monday, May 11, 2009
It isn't surprising...
Within a few generations, it was assumed, the Indian population would nearly disappear. This was ensured through the restrictive nature of Indian Status: an indigenous woman who married a white man lost her status, as did her children, plus if you were enfranchised to vote or got a university education you were no longer considered an Indian.
In the past 40 years there have been many changes to the Indian Act, some positive and some negative, but most aboriginals in Canada are unable to access the benefits of the Act, while dealing with many of the negative consequences of their heritage. Canadians often display an incredible degree of racism, particularly towards aboriginal individuals and groups. Don't believe me? Just read the comments on the Star article, if you can stomach it.
Personally, I can't imagine if the government was able to decide for me who I am (legally speaking). Imagine they all of a sudden decreed that only those with two Christian parents could be Christian, or that those women who vote were no longer legally women, or that men who go to university are no longer legally men, or if you have a slice of pizza you are now Italian.
Also see How the Indian Act made Indians act like Indian Act Indians
Saturday, May 9, 2009
ACTION ALERT: Keep Terminator Seed out of Canada
What is Terminator? Terminator Technology genetically engineers plants to produce sterile seeds at harvest. It was developed by the multinational seed/agrochemical industry and the US government to prevent farmers from re-planting harvested seed and force farmers to buy seed each season instead. Terminator seeds have not yet been field-tested or commercialized. In 2006, Monsanto bought the company (Delta & Pine Land) that owned Terminator. Terminator is sometimes called Genetic Use Restriction Technology (GURTs) - the broad term that refers to the use of an external chemical inducer to control the expression of a plant's genetic traits.
Member of Parliament Alex Atamanenko (NDP) has reintroduced his Private Members Bill (C-343) to ban the release, sale, importation and use of Terminator technology.
Actions you can take:
1. Send an instant email at http://www.cban.ca/terminatoraction.
2. Organizations can endorse the call for a ban: go to http://www.banterminator.org/endorse
3. Write a personalized letter. Remember: postage is free to your elected officials! You can use your postal code to search for your MP at http://www.parl.gc.ca (Note: The New Democratic Party and the Bloc Québécois already support a Ban on Terminator in Canada.) For more information see http://www.cban.ca/terminator
4. Distribute Ban Terminator postcards in your community! To order postcards email btpostcards@usc-canada.org
5. Donate to support the campaign -- the Canadian Biotechnology Action Network implements the Canadian strategy of the International Ban Terminator Campaign http://www.cban.ca/donate
6. Sign up to Ban Terminator news http://www.banterminator.org/subscribe
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, K2P 0R5
Phone: 613 241 2267 ext.5
coordinator@cban.ca, www.cban.ca
Learn more about Terminator Technology here
Via Everdale
May 9, 2009 - A Most Useless Place?
“Recently I had the final infusion. But I was not at all sure that pulling away the safety net was a cause for celebration. My doctor poked his head into the curtained chamber to assure me that he expected a long remission. Kind of him, but what could he say?
Remission is cancer's suspended animation. The renegade cells are poised to return but no one knows when. It could be a month or a decade; for my type of lymphoma (one of the more than thirty varieties of Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma) there is no cure. So I am stuck in what Dr. Seuss – in a book I used to read to my daughter – calls “a most useless place. The Waiting place....’”
A most useless place. That phrase does sum up how it feels, sometimes. Unlike David, I’m out of remission – have been for a couple of years – but there are days when I, too, feel like I’m in suspended animation.
David’s experience is similar to mine, too, in that he is a member of the clergy, serving a congregation:
“I had the strange, surreal experience of hearing my congregants' shock that this could happen to the family of the Rabbi – as though professional piety was a shield against disease. As though God played favorites.
Right before my brain surgery I appeared in front of the congregation and asked them for their patience and their prayers. Three year later I was standing before them, bald. I witnessed the realization in their eyes that there are no guarantees, no protected people. No one is safe.”
No, no one is safe. Yet, that observation ought to be surprising only to those who believe God is some cosmic puppeteer, manipulating the lives and loves and illnesses of us poor, benighted souls who dwell below. Is cancer a thunderbolt, cast down in righteous anger from Olympian heights? I’ve never seen it that way – although I’ve met plenty of people, both inside and outside my church, who fear it may be.
Granted, there are strains within the biblical tradition that portray God that way. God punishes the ten spies who brought back an unfavorable report of the promised land by killing them with plague (Numbers 14:37). God gives the adulterous David and Bathsheba’s infant love-child a fatal illness (2 Samuel 12:15-17). Even worse, God famously afflicts Job with boils, not because he’s an unjust man but simply because God wants to win a debate with the devil.
Yet, before everything is said and done in the Hebrew scriptures, the Lord is portrayed as “merciful and gracious, abounding in steadfast love” (Psalm 103:8). That’s the majority witness. When it comes to the New Testament, of course, God not only sympathizes with human suffering, but personally undergoes it, becoming incarnate as Jesus Christ.
Yet, the ancient images of a capriciously angry God, that dread smiter of sinners, are maddeningly persistent. “What did I do to deserve this?" is the anguished cry we pastors hear again and again, whether spoken or unspoken, standing at the foot of many a hospital bed.
No one is safe. We’re all going to die. Some of us sooner than others. If we’re spared from some fatal catastrophe on the highways, we’re all going to hear some doctor admit to us, someday, “I’m sorry, but there’s nothing more medical science can do for you.” Is this God’s judgment?
The story of Adam and Eve in the Garden suggests it is. Death is, that story suggests, God’s judgment on the entire human race. That may be so, but, unless we toss out all the biblical witnesses to God as patient and merciful, it’s hard to make a case for God micro-managing the entries in our individual medical files. We belong to a race for whom that dark, old lullaby is all too true:
“Hush, little baby, don’t you cry,
for you know your mama is born to die...”
The divine decree of death is meted out to the human race en masse, not on a case-by-case basis.
The fact of death is perhaps the deepest mystery we children of Adam and Eve seek to plumb – as Rabbi David has himself come to realize:
“For now I am just waiting. I am trying to find my own way through this because, inevitably, I will be asked how I did it. Rabbis are supposed to be figures of authority and calm. It was hard enough to reassure my congregation that a fickle universe does not mean that God is absent. That belief does not indemnify me against adversity. That my faith through all this is unshaken. How does one live, Rabbi, is the question my congregants ask, of not so directly. Tell me, Rabbi – it is your job to know.
My answer, I now realize, is: Live as if you are fine, knowing that you are not. Death is the overriding truth of life but it need not be its constant companion. My safety net is gone. I feel, as all people in remission do, that each time I fly my hand may slip from the trapeze. But to live earthbound is to give the cancer more than it deserves.”
The place David and I find ourselves in may feel, at times, like “a most useless place.” On deeper examination – and, viewed through the eye of faith – it turns out to be anything but.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
May 7, 2009 - Microscope-Ready
President Obama has included this amount as part of his $787 billion shot in the arm for the economy. There’s been lots of talk about rebuilding the nation’s crumbling infrastructure through “shovel-ready” projects like bridges and highways. It’s nice to know there are some microscope-ready projects, as well, to benefit those of us with chronic illnesses.
There are some who say that, once you have cancer, never a day goes by that you don’t think about the disease, at least once. I’m pretty sure that’s continued to be true for me, during this extended period of watch-and-wait. Some days I think about it a lot, other days it’s no more than a fleeting thought. Yet the though is always there, if only lurking below the surface.
I would a great thing, indeed, if I didn’t have to think about it anymore.
It would be a great thing, as well, if some additional billions would be used to buy health insurance for those without it – although I suppose that’s coming down the pike soon enough, along with the rest of the President’s healthcare-funding proposal.
Why is this important? Check out this 7-minute video that tells what an impossible fix a hard-working American family can get into when cancer comes knocking at the door:
Quite apart from the humanitarian factor, cleaning up our nation’s broken healthcare-funding system – that leaks dollars like a sieve – will actually strengthen the economy.
Now, that’s the sort of win-win scenario that even a fiscal conservative ought to be able to appreciate.
Friday, May 1, 2009
CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS OF WOMEN IN INDIA
If the principle of gender equality is enshrined in the Indian Constitution, then why are Indian women treated as second citizens in their own country? The Constitution officially grants equality to women and also empowers the State to adopt measures of positive discrimination in favour of women. However, the varied forms of discrimination that women in
It is claimed that from the Fifth Five Year Plan (1974-78) onwards, there has been a marked shift in the approach to women’s issues from welfare to development. Where is the development? Yes, the status of the urban woman has shown some improvement but the changes in their lifestyle were not coupled by changes in the general mindset of the people in our patriarchal society. Thus, some laws should have been framed for the protection of the newly emancipated and urbanized Indian women. What is the percentage of urban women in
The National Commission for Women was set up by an Act of Parliament in 1990 to safeguard the rights and legal entitlements of women. “The 73rd and 74th Amendments (1993) to the Constitution of India have provided for reservation of seats in the local bodies of Panchayats and Municipalities for women, laying a strong foundation for their participation in decision making at the local levels.” These reserved seats often go unoccupied or are taken up by male candidates because women rarely contest for such seats. Why? The mere existence of laws cannot automatically bring about a revolutionary change in the society. In a country where women have no control over their own lives and do not even have the decision-making power in their own household, do you think they will be encouraged to join local governing bodies?
In
The following are some of the provisions made in favour of women, in our constitution:
Article 14 in the Indian Constitution ensures equality in political, economic and social spheres. Article 16 provides for equality of opportunities in matters of public appointment for all citizens. However, the ratio of women in Politics is far less as compared to men. How many women hold positions of power in government run institutions? Single women do not get jobs easily because the employers fear that they might get married and quit. They also find it hard to get rented accommodation whereas that is not the case with single men. Cricket is a religion in
Article 15 prohibits discrimination against any citizen on the grounds of religion, race, caste, sex etc. There are certain places of worship in
Article 15 (3) of the Indian Constitution allows the State to make any special provision for women and children. Wife bashing is a favorite sport in
Article 39(a) mentions that the State will direct its policies towards securing all citizens, men and women, the right to means of livelihood while Article 39 (c) ensures equal pay for equal work. When a male government employee is transferred from one place to another, is his wife given a new job in the new place? Her career goals are of little importance to anyone. She can be displaced and uprooted anytime! The daily wages of women labourers in
Article 42 directs the State to ensure just and humane working conditions. More often than not, women are exploited by their bosses. It is believed that women who keep their bosses happy get promotions very easily in the Corporate world! What about the others? Male colleagues never fail to make passes at women. Women have to put up with their bawdy jokes, lascivious remarks and glares, all the time. The plight of women labourers at construction sites, tea and rubber plantations etc, cannot even be described.
The constitution imposes a fundamental duty on every citizen through Article 15 (A) (e) to renounce practices derogatory to the dignity of women. What is the government doing about eve-teasing? Can a woman spend an entire day on the streets of the National capital without getting a series of comments, derogatory to her dignity? Another law that protects women against a seemingly milder crime is Section 509 of the IPC. This law punishes individuals who have insulted the modesty of a woman. Offensive language, sounds, gestures and intrusion of a woman's privacy are punishable under this law. Outraging the modesty of a woman is also punishable under Section 354 of the IPC. Under this law, an individual who has assaulted a woman, used criminal force on her or outraged her modesty in any other way can be punished with imprisonment of up to 2 years. In fact the people who are employed by the State to ensure that people don’t flout any rules, the policemen, are the ones who have given consequence to many crimes against women. Policemen are often found mouthing obscenities, glaring and passing bawdy remarks on women, not only on the roads, but also inside the police station. Many of our honourable politicians are also involved in all manner of crimes against women.
Laws such as the Immoral Traffic (Prevention) Act, Sati Prevention Act, Dowry Prohibition Act and Indecent Representation of Women (Prevention) Act protect women from the more "traditional" crimes such as rape, abduction, dowry, torture, molestation, sexual harassment and selling of girls into slavery. However trafficking of women is still very common in this poverty-stricken country. Women from economically backward families are kidnapped and forced into prostitution. Incidents of women being charred to death after their husbands’ death, have been reported recently. Giving and taking dowry is officially, a crime but the practice goes on. In fact, it is taken for granted that if you want to get your daughter married you should arrange for her dowry first, even when your daughter is educated and financially independent.
Female foeticide and infanticide are common practices in this country. If at all the girl is allowed to live, she is subject to all forms of torture in her own house. She is not allowed to go to school, instead she is forced to take up menial jobs and married off almost as soon as she enters teenage. People in rural areas fear that their daughters might be raped so it is better to get them married. Ironically, The Child Marriage Restraint Act specifies the cut-off age for marriage as 18 years, protecting women from child marriage. Women, be it urban or rural, face all forms of sexual harassment throughout their lives. So what is the use of these laws?
There are many women in
Thus, there are a number of laws to protect women, but what is the use of having these laws when no one follows them? In fact, the people whose business it is, to enforce these laws are the ones who publicly flout them. Besides, not many women are conversant with law and few are aware of the rights and privileges accorded to them by the constitution. So they suffer all forms of discrimination, passively.
References:
Ø http://wcd.nic.in/empwomen.htm
Ø specials.msn.co.in/sp08/wmday/women_rights.asp
STATUS OF SINGLE WOMEN IN INDIA
Since time immemorial, Indian women have suffered at the hands of men. They have been subject to all forms of mental, physical, psychological and emotional torture. However, due to the hard work and dedication of feminists and social reformers, there has been a considerable improvement in the status of women in urban
The life of an urban Indian woman is far from easy. She is expected to have recognized academic and professional qualifications, a good job, stunning looks, polished manners, good communication skills, social contacts and family background. She should be an expert at multi-tasking. She is expected to be perfect by the age of twenty-three / four, because, without the aforementioned qualities, she cannot expect to get an Indian man. The man can be as old as he wishes to be, but his wife should be young. However, not many women manage to acquire the qualities of an ideal urban wife by the age determined by society and remain single. When a fifty-year old man marries a twenty-five year old girl, our society accepts it willingly. But they are shocked when a woman falls in love with a man, couple of years younger than her. She is insulted and derided by everyone. Alas! A spinster is tortured all her life for not finding the right man.
The plight of a married woman is unimaginable. Owing to the high standard of living, most husbands want their wives to work. The wife is expected to look after the house, raise her children and shape their future, satisfy the whims of her mother-in-law and also earn a living. Not all women have these superhuman qualities and sometimes they give up.
As a result of globalization, Indians have started aping the West blindly. They have imbibed all the wrong things. The infidelity rate has gone up. Men love to have young mistresses. However, these days women don’t put up with such humiliation and they walk out on such men. Thus, the divorce rate in
The situation of the widowed woman isn’t any better. Her husband’s family inevitably disowns her, because she is not related to them in any way. Besides, she is also believed to have conspired with the forces of nature, to kill her husband. She brings bad luck to the people she associates with and everyone is generally afraid of her. Widow remarriage was made legal way back in 1856, but how many widows in
These days’ people do not reject and ignore these women overtly. It is fashionable to be sensitive. They pretend to be very good, kind and gentle towards them. This hurts more. The rich and the ultra rich have been forced to accept ‘singles’ because there are more number of spinsters and divorced women in these classes. So, the level of discrimination faced by single women who belong to these classes is lesser than that faced by their counterparts in the middle and low income groups. The truth is clear; our society in general, still finds it hard to accept a woman without a man.